Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
