Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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