And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
