if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
