What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
high people should be assigned attendants
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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