I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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