i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
