So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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