so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
