Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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