Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
