I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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