I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
