We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
