Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
