did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
