a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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