Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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