it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
