I wanna bring you to show and tell
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
