Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
