strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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