Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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