got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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