I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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