And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
