If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
