omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
