I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
