did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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