you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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