Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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