Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
