So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
