Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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