3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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