I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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