That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
