my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
