How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
