btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
