and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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