Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
