found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
