Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
