White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You may now shotgun with the bride
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
