Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
