He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
