Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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