I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
