My Higher Power is John Stamos
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
